2021 Paper 1: Sample Response 5 (Tandoori Food)
This is the fifth sample response about tandoori food from the May 2021 examination session. The first two, found here and here, are excellent. The third one, found here, while not as good as the first two, is still a strong response. The fourth one is weaker and this one is the weakest of them all.
We've published this one because we want students to see a variety of levels of achievement. If students can notice and name what the writer is doing (or not doing) and if students can articulate what they need to do in their own writing to reach the next level, they are on their way to improving as a writer and thinker.
In this particular example, the student's language - expression, grammar, vocabulary - holds them back. The interpretation is also too general and the analysis of the writer's choices is too vague. The hard part about reading this exemplar is that you can tell how hard the student is trying to do what is required in a Paper 1.
Sample Guided Textual Analysis
May 2021 Paper 1 Sample Response 5 (Tandoori Food)
2021 Paper 1 Sample Response 5 (Tandoori Food)
Guiding question: Discuss how different features are used on this webpage to create an impression of Indian culture.
Why is food not just food? This article written by Julie Sahni which is Indian writer where she talks about the delicious Tandoori and how in India it isn’t just food it is peoples souls as they love to celebrate food with one and others. As well as the misconception of the preparation of the food as it is quite easy to make and a lot people think that you really need the special equipment to make the dish, but really you just need a simple grill that closes. She want to show this to anyone who enjoys Indian food and that they should try to make it for themselves as well as it isn’t that difficult to make. The article is said in the way to make the audience more aware of how beautiful the food is and in such a way that you would want to start making the food right away. Through out the extract there is use of history of where Tandoori comes from. This is an article written in the New York Times magazine. As it is a popular newspaper company, meaning that a lot of people would have had the ability to read this article. The way it start with the title in big bold capital lettering show the title clearly. As well as the title already make you want more about the food as it start of wit saying “FOOD; INDIA’s SOUL FOOD” which makes you wonder what they mean by that. The way it was structured was that it has sort of had a recipe on how to make the dish. The extract also included a image to help the audience understand the appearance of the dish.
The author use a image of the Tandoori to help the audience understand on how the dish should look like. The picture is shown at the very start of the article which helps the audience understand on how the dish should look like. As the image isn’t that large but its’ made big enough so that the audience understands how the dish looks like. The image can also clearly show that the colour of that chicken is orange which is also mentioned in the extract so that it can be clear and not mistaken by any other dish. The appeal of the food made you want eat it. So the way it was prepared helped the audience.
The writer uses personal anecdotes and cultural differences to emphasize how special this meal is towards the Indian community. At the very start of the extract the writer use a personal anecdote where she talks about her memories when eating tandoori is with her family back in India. When the extract states “I remember gathering with my family and friends in a cool breezes at an outdoor concert in New Delhi. When reading that you can start imagining how that would look like. Which can make you want to try the delicacy for yourself. As well as the first four words in the articles are all in capital letters which straightly drawn me to ready on. As it says “TO AN INDIAN FAMILY”, which make the reader want to read on as they want to know what they are talking about. They then go on about how cultural different meals are from the American culture. As every meal in India is a highlight as for Americans that is only Sunday supper. Which is a use of Pathos which helps with the connection between the food and the writer.
The use of historical facts help readers understand how long this meal has been part of the Indian culture. As Tandoori has become a very hard part of the Indian culture. Although it was not originally from India it was Syria. Through an article it talks about how the tandoori wasn’t for everyone in the 19th century, the first Tandoori restaurant opened but at the time it was only for the lower class. As in the article is says “A list to the a tandoori joint was taboo for members of society”. Meaning that people who went there who weren’t in the lower class were looked weird at. Although over time this taboo was removed and anyone in India has a chance to eat this delicacy. As this was a meal that was suppose to be enjoyed with music an alcohol. As well as the use of this information helps the audience understand why they should try it and understand why it is shown important here. As the delicacy is made with mild herbal flavor so that anyone can appreciate the food. As well as it talks about the way the dish is made and how it is made, it gives the audience an idea on how to make this dish for themselves in future times.
The author use different method on making the dish at come with the equipment that a normal household would have. As they say “Tandoori cooking is simple. It requires little time, effort or skills”. Which start with the use of the rule of three and the language used make it more reassuring that you would be able to make this dish. It then talks about the different types on preparing the dish. When the say “traditional tandoori oven in not necessary for its preparation”. Which helps the reader understand that it shouldn’t be that hard to make it than if you can just use a normal oven / grill to prepare your tandoori. It then talks about the other ingredients that need to be prepared for this dish. Such as the rice and the grapevines. The extract end in say that it isn’t necessary to only make it chicken you could also use seafood, and vegetables. The paragraph ends with a tip for people that would want to make the dish with shrimp. As that helps with the audience that they know that the writer has made the dish before and her experience in making the dish.
In conclusion the article used the history and personal anecdote to help the reader understand the important of the dish for people who hadn’t every tried Indian food or Tandoori before. With the history from the food it made the readers understand how important food is for them and the way the food eat and with who. As they talked about the way Tandoori should be eaten with alcohol and music. Lastly, in the personal anecdote they talk about the way she remembers eating Tandoori with family and friends at a concert. Which make the impression that food is celebrated in the Indian culture.
Word count: 1107
Teacher's Comments
Criterion A: Understanding and interpretation (5 marks)
- To what extent does the student show an understanding of the text? What inferences can the student reasonably make?
- To what extent does the student support their claims with references to the text?
2 out of 5: There is some understanding of the literal meaning of the text. It just doesn’t go far enough in terms of interpretation about the text. It’s surface level work here in terms of claims and interpretation.
Criterion B: Analysis and evaluation (5 marks)
- How well does the student does the student evaluate the ways in which language and style establish meaning and effect?
2 out of 5: There is a list of devices to be analyzed for each paragraph, from the image to the historical facts to the personal anecdotes and more. But, it’s all too superficial and lacks the depth that close textual analysis requires. The language and image analysis is reliant on description.
Criterion C: Focus and organisation (5 marks)
- How effectively does the student structure and present their ideas?
- How balanced and focused is the response?
2 out of 5: While organized into paragraphs, the introduction is long-winded and unwieldy, the paragraphs themselves don’t fully develop the argument or interpretation, and the focus is limited in terms of answering the question.
Criterion D: Language (5 marks)
- How clear, varied, and accurate is the student’s language?
- To what extent is the student’s choice of register, style, and terminology appropriate?
2 out of 5: There are just so many errors and inaccuracies that it is hard to award above a 2 in language. The candidate tries to do what is required to get above a 2, but it’s not enough. Best fit marking means this is a 2 out of 5.