2021 Paper 1: Sample Response 4 (Tandoori Food)
This is the fourth sample response about tandoori food from the May 2021 examination session. This one is the weakest of the four we’ve published so far.
So why use it?
It's important for you to see the difference between excellent, very good, and good to satisfactory. By comparing and contrasting this exemplar with the 3rd exemplar, you will begin to understand the difference between getting 3s in every criterion and getting 4s in every criterion. By parsing out the differences, you will gain insight into how to move your writing to the next level.
The guiding question is this: Discuss how different features are used on this webpage to create an impression of Indian culture.
Sample Guided Textual Analysis
2021 Paper 1 Sample Response 4 (Tandoori Food)
2021 Paper 1 Sample Response 4 (Tandoori Food)
Guiding question: Discuss how different features are used on this webpage to create an impression of Indian culture.
The text article from The New York Times Magazine by Julie Sahni discusses India’s soul food, the tandoori, and brings it to the attention of Americans to notice. Traditional food like the tandoori dish is synonymous with culture. With millions of different cultures present in our world, food is the most accessible and exciting way to experience a new and different culture. By publishing this article to the American audience, Julie is able to create an impression of Indian culture to a different culture showcasing the cultural background of the tandoori food and encouraging the audience to try themselves and enjoy India’s culture.
Firstly, in order for Julie to establish a connection with the audience, she compares the tandoori meal to something her audience can relate to knowing her audience are Americans. The simile “Like Sunday supper for some Americans” allows her to showcase the importance of a tandoori meal in a method that her audience can understand. With this, she starts of the article by creating an impression that there are many similarities and overlaps between Indian and American culture which generates curiosity from the reader on the food on India’s culture.
The author then focuses on the cultural history of the tandoori meal to create a positive impression of Indian culture that would make them understand what makes the meal so special knowing that the author is known for writing about Indian food. Her cultural understanding appeals towards the ethos in the reader. She has the credibility to state that tandoori cooking is “not an Indian invention.” It sounds so obscure as tandoori is engrained in Indian culture even if she states otherwise. However, her credibility allows her to state this with pure certainty and instead turned the readers doubt into curiosity. By stating out the traditional way of making tandoori food and the use of jargon, the author is able to expose to the audience India’s culture of cooking way back in the 19th century. Terms such as “marinate”, “skewered” and “glowing hot tandoor” are terms that exclusively used in the cooking world. Although these terms are a common used words in cooking worldwide, Julie then showcases the similarity of India and the rest of the world as they share similar methods of cooking even way back in the 19th century. However, she still displays the uniqueness of India’s method of cooking this meal with the use of the “tandoor”. This is an item unique in Indian culture that the author explained and creates the impression of Indian culture that the West would not ever heard off.
Further on, Julie also emphasizes the impact of tandoori meals towards India’s society. She states that tandoori food has not “always been popular” and “labeled low-class.” This shows the audience India’s hierarchy system, as a food is deemed unpopular due to it being labeled low-class. By describing the characteristics of the food as it was not born “in a state, or royal, kitchen” displays that is deemed not something that is of higher class. Furthermore stating that it is enjoyed by “nomadic tribes,” showcases the social divide as people would want to associate themselves with the higher-class not lower class. However, she stated the eventually upper-classmen would drive “limousines” to “narrow alleyways” and “send their servants” to buy tandoori food. The juxtaposition of this image of rich people sending their servants in limousines to by “low-class” food in their territory creates an impression of India’s societal culture and issues where there is a large social status gap and wealth but both people are united as India in the love of the tandoori meal.
Julie then describes the method of making tandoori food for requiring “little time, effort, or skill,” She uses the rule of three in order to emphasize the simplicity of making tandoori food which encourages her audience to try make a traditional Indian food themselves at their house. She understands the doubt of the reader as she knows that readers assume that they need a “tandoor clay over.” She disputes this fear and further encourages the reader as she claims a traditional tandoor “is not necessary.” While discussing the recipe, Julie offers types of marination options for the readers. But focusing on just chicken she describes the food to be of an “earthy aroma” and the use of the saffron is able to balance the “rich gamy” flavor of the chicken. By placing the recipe at the end of the article, it is able to build an interest from the historical context and encourages the readers to try make their own tandoori meal.
Building on the emphasis of flavor of the food, the author creates a positive and flavorful impression of the Indian culture by the description of the meal. By describing the food to be “juicy morsels of meat”, “earthly aroma”, “flavorful” and “rich gamy” creates an impression towards the reader that Indian food are very heavy in flavor and most importantly tasty. Combining this with the use of alliteration when describing the aroma to be “sweet smoky” emphasizes the taste and smell of the food. It can guarantee the reader will feel hungry while reading the article which leads them to feel convinced in trying out the meal. As this article also serves to convince the reader to try Indian food, it creates an impression that India’s culture is open and warmly accepts foreign people in trying their unique culture and taste their delicious food.
Ultimately, by showcasing the historical background, the description of tandoori meal and putting a simple recipe at the end, the article on the webpage is able to create a warm and positive impression of Indian culture by showcasing its culture through food as food is universally enjoyed by human, regardless of race, color or gender. By offering Indian culture to others, it serves a mission to allow other people to experience other cultures without having to go to the location as recipes can be followed and cultures can be learned and experienced.
Word count: 1001
Teacher's Comments
Criterion A: Understanding and interpretation (5 marks)
- To what extent does the student show an understanding of the text? What inferences can the student reasonably make?
- To what extent does the student support their claims with references to the text?
3 out of 5: There is an understanding of the literal meaning of the text with some of the implications explored. References are generally appropriate. This is closer to a 2 than a 4 though, but enough is done with the references to put it in this band.
Criterion B: Analysis and evaluation (5 marks)
- How well does the student does the student evaluate the ways in which language and style establish meaning and effect?
3 out of 5: Some authorial choices are identified; the extent to which they are effectively evaluated is a little inconsistent. The response is not reliant on description and has occasional insights which is why a 3 (again, on the lower end) is awarded.
Criterion C: Focus and organisation (5 marks)
- How effectively does the student structure and present their ideas?
- How balanced and focused is the response?
3 out of 5: The candidate engages with the guiding question adequately, creating an organized response.
Criterion D: Language (5 marks)
- How clear, varied, and accurate is the student’s language?
- To what extent is the student’s choice of register, style, and terminology appropriate?
3 out of 5: Language is lacking clarity and precision, with a number of lapses in expression and sentence structure. “Showcases” is used incorrectly (and probably shouldn’t be used at all) and the student uses the author’s first name and not her last! But, this band, albeit on the lower end, describes the student’s language best.