IB Docs (2) Team
WT1 SL S2 (Internet)
The following written task 1 takes its inspiration from a series of lessons on the Internet and how it is redefining how we communicate. The task is relevant to the first learning outcome of Part 2, which asks students to "examine different forms of communication within the media." This following sample student work specifically takes its inspiration from an article that Clifford Stoll wrote in Newsweek in 1995, titled 'The Internet? Bah!' The task is a letter to Clifford Stoll, written over 16 years after Stoll's article. The student's purpose is to convince Stoll that his predictions were wrong in 1995, in light of the importance of the Internet today.
After you read the rationale and written task, assess it according to the official criteria. Then compare your marks to the examiner's marks offered below. How do your marks differ from the examiner's?
Primary source
The Internet? Bah!
Clifford Stoll, Newsweek
February 27 1995
Hype alert: Why cyberspace isn't, and will never be, nirvana.
After two decades online, I'm perplexed. It's not that I haven't had a gas of a good time on the Internet. I've met great people and even caught a hacker or two. But today, I'm uneasy about this most trendy and oversold community. Visionaries see a future of telecommuting workers, interactive libraries and multimedia classrooms. They speak of electronic town meetings and virtual communities. Commerce and business will shift from offices and malls to networks and modems. And the freedom of digital networks will make government more democratic.
Baloney. Do our computer pundits lack all common sense? The truth in no online database will replace your daily newspaper, no CD-ROM can take the place of a competent teacher and no computer network will change the way government works.
Consider today's online world. The Usenet, a worldwide bulletin board, allows anyone to post messages across the nation. Your word gets out, leapfrogging editors and publishers. Every voice can be heard cheaply and instantly. The result? Every voice is heard. The cacophony more closely resembles citizens band radio, complete with handles, harassment, and anonymous threats. When most everyone shouts, few listen. How about electronic publishing? Try reading a book on disc. At best, it's an unpleasant chore: the myopic glow of a clunky computer replaces the friendly pages of a book. And you can't tote that laptop to the beach. Yet Nicholas Negroponte, director of the MIT Media Lab, predicts that we'll soon buy books and newspapers straight over the Internet. Uh, sure.
What the Internet hucksters won't tell you is that the Internet is one big ocean of unedited data, without any pretense of completeness. Lacking editors, reviewers or critics, the Internet has become a wasteland of unfiltered data. You don't know what to ignore and what's worth reading. Logged onto the World Wide Web, I hunt for the date of the Battle of Trafalgar. Hundreds of files show up, and it takes 15 minutes to unravel them—one's a biography written by an eighth grader, the second is a computer game that doesn't work and the third is an image of a London monument. None answers my question, and my search is periodically interrupted by messages like, "Too many connections, try again later."
Won't the Internet be useful in governing? Internet addicts clamor for government reports. But when Andy Spano ran for county executive in Westchester County, N.Y., he put every press release and position paper onto a bulletin board. In that affluent county, with plenty of computer companies, how many voters logged in? Fewer than 30. Not a good omen.
Point and click:
Then there are those pushing computers into schools. We're told that multimedia will make schoolwork easy and fun. Students will happily learn from animated characters while taught by expertly tailored software. Who needs teachers when you've got computer-aided education? Bah. These expensive toys are difficult to use in classrooms and require extensive teacher training. Sure, kids love videogames—but think of your own experience: can you recall even one educational filmstrip of decades past? I'll bet you remember the two or three great teachers who made a difference in your life.
Then there's cyber-business. We're promised instant catalog shopping—just point and click for great deals. We'll order airline tickets over the network, make restaurant reservations and negotiate sales contracts. Stores will become obsolete. So how come my local mall does more business in an afternoon than the entire Internet handles in a month? Even if there were a trustworthy way to send money over the Internet—which there isn't—the network is missing a most essential ingredient of capitalism: salespeople.
What's missing from this electronic wonderland? Human contact. Discount the fawning techno-burble about virtual communities. Computers and networks isolate us from one another. A network chat line is a limp substitute for meeting friends over coffee. No interactive multimedia display comes close to the excitement of a live concert. And who'd prefer cybersex to the real thing? While the Internet beckons brightly, seductively flashing an icon of knowledge-as-power, this non-place lures us to surrender our time on earth. A poor substitute it is, this virtual reality where frustration is legion and where—in the holy names of Education and Progress—important aspects of human interactions are relentlessly devalued.
Sample written task
Written task SL Sample 2 (Internet)
Rationale
The Internet is a phenomenon we studied in depth in our English course. Our teacher introduced us to the article by Clifford Stoll in class. The goal of this creative assignment is to write a letter to Clifford Stoll where I confront him as an Internet consumer with the changes that have taken place since 1995, the year in which the article was published. The purpose of this letter is to show Clifford Stoll that some of the points he made in his article in 1995 are not valid any more, I also want to convince him that the Internet is not as bad as he makes it seem. For instance, in the letter I write that there is a future in telecommuting: “In the U.S more than 40% of the working population has the opportunity to telecommute from home using the Internet”.
Writing this written task has allowed me to place the theory we learned in class into actual context which made me realize how great but at the same time how careful we have to be with the Internet. There are many opportunities to be explored, but we shouldn’t become over dependent on the Internet.
Written task
Mysteriestraat 13
Almere
the Netherlands
Clifford Stoll
J.Gregoryllane 112
Santa Barbara- 13654
California – Unites states of America.
Dear Mr. Stoll,
I am a student from the Amsterdam International Community School where I studied the phenomena of 'the Internet'. After looking at your article with interest, I decided to write you this letter as I feel that I am obligated as an Internet consumer to inform you of the changes that have taken place concerning the Internet since you wrote the article in 1995.
We have seen many technological improvements within the concept of the Internet. The purpose tthat he Internet serves has radically changed too. In your article you argue that it is baloney to think that there is a future in telecommuting workers, however this argument has been proven different with the current status of the Internet and the corresponding technology. In the U.S more than 40% of the working population has the opportunity to telecommute from home using the Internet. Thereafter business meetings already take place with the use of e-conferences, where multiple employees sit behind their computer and are interconnected with the opportunity to see each other and hear each other. In this case the Internet is cost saving because of not having to travel as well as having the opportunity to discus important matter almost instantly, but I can understand your point of view because this technology was not available in 1995.
One of your other claims was that newspapers would not be replaced by online databases. However, the Internet has brought us a range of online newspapers such as The Huffington Post which is free to access. Online newspapers allow us even to search for articles or topics of interest. With the current technology there is even the possibility to produce news content with the input of 'prosumers'. Prosumers are people that consume the Internet and meanwhile produce data for the Internet. The news content created by prosumers is made out of user-generated data, which most of the times is a result of crowdsourcing or the concept of outsourcing research to a large audience. It seems logical to me that you argue that there is the possibility for people to put “threats ” and “harassments” on the Internet. But even these days there are 'gatekeepers' online ensuring people's safety in forums and the quality of articles on Wikipedia. This was most likely unthinkable in 1995 when the Internet just started to flourish.
Although I agree with the fact that it is more pleasant to read a book rather than to read it on an e-book reader, it is now possible to read books via a digital device where multiple books can be installed, this is weight saving, and different than you argue, it is now possible to take the e-reader to the beach.
This brings me to another point, it has become possible to buy goods over the Internet with ease, visit Amazon.com and find thousands of products ready to be purchased (books, electronic devices, basically everything you can imagine). Today it’s unimaginable to run a business without the Internet. Marketing, advertising, questionnaires, Internet stores, product information and even online ordering are a part of our everyday life with the existence of the Internet. We don’t have to go to stores anymore. Instead products are delivered to our homes. Businesses advertise on the Internet with the use of different forms of e-marketing, for instance, Google allows businesses advertise on relevant websites, and with every click from a potential customer on the advertisement it delivers a couple of cents to Google. This e-marketing model is called 'pay-per-click'. The Internet is flourishing with it, and it is changing the way marketing budgets are spent.
I agree that human interaction is becoming devalued as we are more and more dependent on the Internet, however, integrating the Internet into our lives has made many things less complicated and more easily accessible. It has made friendships and business connections more transparent, which you can see on social networking sites such as Facebook and Linkedin. It has become easier to find old friends, land the right job and collaborate with colleagues thanks to these sites.
We have seen many changes in technology. Many points that may have been valid in 1995 are not valid anymore in 2011. We are becoming increasingly dependent on the Internet as more aspects of life are being integrated with it. Some points that you made are still valid, but we have to consider how this rapid change in technology has changed human interaction.
I hope that by writing this letter I have shown you the importance of these changes since 1995.
Kind regards,
Kenneth O.
Examiner's comments
Criterion A - Rationale - 2 marks
The rationale explains how the task is connected to the coursework.
2 out of 2 - The purpose of the student is explained clearly. He explains his aims and even includes an example of how he achieves his goal.
Criterion B - Task and content - 8 marks
The content of a task should lend itself well to the type of text that one chooses. The task should demonstrate an understanding of the course work and topics studied. Finally, there should be evidence that the student has understood the conventions of writing a particular text type.
6 out of 8 - The student has commented well on the primary source, the article by Clifford Stoll. However, it is not entirely clear what the purpose of the letter is. Clifford Stoll has also seen the Internet change since 1995, and would most likely readily admit that his predictions were wrong. The question on whether human interaction has been devalued is an interesting one, which unfortunately is only briefly addressed by the student. Nevertheless, the student introduces interesting concepts, such as the 'prosumer' and the 'gatekeeper' which keep the letter relevant. There is evidence of critical thinking.
Criterion C - Organization - 5 marks
The task is organized effectively and appropriately with a regard for the text type. There must be a sense of coherence.
4 out of 5 - The student's style is typical of a letter. He states very early what his intentions are and carries through with them. He addresses the issues from Stoll's column one by one, developing an argument.
Criterion D - Language - 5 marks
The language of the task must be appropriate to the nature of the task. This means that students use an appropriate and effective register and style. Whatever the nature of the task, ideas must be communicated effectively.
3 out of 5 - While the language of this letter is appropriate and accurate, there is also room for improvement. Many sentences are choppy and simple, such as, "We have seen many changes in technology." Nevertheless, there are interesting terms such as 'user generated content'.
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