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2017 P2 SL (Hedda Gabler and Death and the Maiden - Exemplar 2)

In this exemplar, the student has written about the plays Death and the Maiden and Hedda Gabbler.  Like another model example, found here, it addresses question 3 from the May 2017 exam session:

To what extent do at least two of the works you have studied show that an individual is in control of his or her own destiny?

Unlike the previous exemplar, this essay does not come close to achieving top marks.  Instead, it fails to fully answer the question and the overall organizational structure does not lend itself to a strong response – it is unbalanced.  Students should also note a clear difference in the appreciation of the effects of the literary features as well, among other things. 

To get your students to fully grasp what a Paper 2 demands, have your students compare and contrast these two exemplars.  They should read both essays back-to-back and then answer the following questions:

  1. Which essay is better?
  2. Compare and contrast the essays:
    • Which one answers the question more explicitly and in more depth?  Prove your point with evidence.
    • Which one discusses how the dramatist uses language (and other features) to create meaning in greater detail?
    • Which one uses more specific and concrete evidence?
    • Which one has a stronger organizational structure?  Why?
    • Provide any other final comments about any similarities and/or differences between these two essays.
  3. Now, look at the assessment criteria.  What scores would you give each essay and why?

The goal is for your students not only understand what is required in a Paper 2, but to also help them actually do what they know they need to do in their own writing.

Sample Essay

Paper 2 Exemplar May 2017 Question 3 Hedda Gabler and Death and the Maiden Exemplar 2

Paper 2 Exemplar – May 2017

Question 3: To what extent do at least two of the works you have studied show that an individual is in control of his or her own destiny?

Although both Death and the Maiden written by Ariel Dorfman in 1991 and Hedda Gabler written by Henrik Ibsen in 1891 demonstrate the contentious issues with realistic interactions between characters and within oneself, each author portrays this in different ways in terms of the characters’ self-realization of their control over their own destiny.  Death and the Maiden had its first premiere at the Royal Court Upstairs and was originally published in both English and Spanish.  Dorfman, a Chilean author who was exiled for 17 years was inspired by his personal experiences when portraying the uneasy transition from dictatorship to democracy in his play.  Likewise, Hedda Gabler, first performed at Munich Theatre, Germany also delineates the society’s discriminatory treatment towards those powerless individuals as the Victorian values rules the society at the time.  Both Dorfman and Ibsen reveal how the main characters, Paulina Salas and Hedda Gabler, react to the internal conflicts they encounter, thus the actions they take to achieve their ideal destiny, through the change in their characterization.

Dorman highlights Paulina’s changed attitudes towards Gerardo and Roberto who were always empowered over Paulina, especially with Paulina’s shift in tone.  Her intimidated character is illustrated when she “goes to the side board and takes out her gun.”  Dorfman uses such state directions to show Paulina’s post-traumatic behavior especially with her immediate reaction of holding a gun when she hears a sound of a car.  A gun is what gives her confidence to achieve justice, as her behavior completely changes once she encounters Roberto who she assumes to be the one who tortured her – and so she thinks about shooting him.  Dorman writes “Out there you bastards may still give the orders but in here I’m in command” to emphasize the shift in her tone.  Paulina outgroups Roberto and those who take advantages of having social authorities from herself.  From this, Dorfman denotes Paulina’s determination to take control over what has affected her since she is aware that she is not powerful enough to change the entire political system and give orders to name the perpetrators.  Dorfman accentuates Paulina’s persistent attempt to challenge such a hypocritical situation in spite of her trivialized role in society.

Dorfman challenges the audience by throwing them a question whether Paulina’s violence can be justified.  Dorman writes “she isn’t the voice of civilization, you are” by Roberto to Gerardo.  Dorfman demonstrates the contrasting behavior of Roberto towards an authority figure from a powerless figure in order to justify her violent actions.  Although Paulina is the victim of the incident, Roberto constantly appeals to Gerardo to spare his life.  Paulina says, “What do we lose?  What do we lose by killing one of them?  What do we lose?  What do we lose” to Gerardo to express her frustration.  The fact that her desire to commit a violation is rooted from how people like Roberto treated her and how society has suppressed her intention to achieve justice contradicts to our normal social norms, thus questioning the audience is it fair for Paulina to have control over her destiny by committing violence?

In Hedda Gabler, Ibsen portrays Hedda as a self-destructive character throughout the play.  Ibsen writes, “I want, for once in my life, to have power over another human being’s fate.”  From this, Ibsen highlights her internal struggle of not being able to achieve self-realization thus longing to take control over others.  This is especially amplified when she burns Ejlert Lovborg’s manuscript saying “I’m burning it – burning your child.”  Her farcical action of destroying someone’s life’s work describes her mentally unstable state.  The fact that she considers her action of taking away something that is regarded as precious and important as their child, as taking control over their fate heightens her irrational character; she destroys what she cannot get.  At the end, she chooses to end her life with the pistol she used to “kill time with” and to convince Lovborg to commit suicide depicts her constantly destructive character throughout the play. 

Paulina in Death and the Maiden continues to take actions in ways she wants her destiny to be like.  However, Hedda in Hedda Gabler stays unchanged which had not been able to achieve her self-determination.  Although it is not clarified by Dorfman whether Paulina is satisfied with her present situation, it is clear that Paulina attempted to be in control of herself as she wanted to recover from her traumatic violence.  The contrasting ways in which they reacted to what limits them from realizing their own identities and living in a way they want their lives to be distinguishes each play.    

Examiner's Comments

Criterion A - Knowledge and understanding - 5 marks

The essay demonstrates an understanding of the works and knowledge of the contexts in which they were written. The student shows how context affects interpretations of the texts.

3 out of 5: There is sound knowledge and a general understanding of both texts.

Criterion B - Response to the question - 5 marks

A Paper 2 essay should focus on the question chosen. The implications of the exam question need to be explored in depth, and the student's response must be relevant to it.

2 out of 5: There is some awareness of the main expectations of the question although the response does wander from the point, and at times, the reasoning is not always clear.

Criterion C - Understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features - 5 marks

In the Paper 2 exam, a connection needs to be made between the author's use of stylistic features and the effect of them on his or her audience. As Paper 2 questions invite students to explore how meaning is shaped by context, answers will have to explain why authors choose for a certain genre, narrative technique or structure.

3 out of 5:  There is a discussion and illustration of the stylistic features with an awareness of the potential impact on the audience.  However, this was stronger for Death and the Maiden than for Hedda Gabler.

Criterion D

Organization and development - 5 marks

The essay must develop an answer to the question coherently and effectively. Topic sentences should guide the ideas of paragraphs. Illustrations should be integrated well and explanations should shed light on the subject matter.

2 out of 5:  The structure is comprised by a focus on Death and the Maiden.  There is an unbalanced approach in discussing both texts. 

Criterion E - Language - 5 marks

The language of the Paper 2 exam should be effective and accurate. The choice of vocabulary and use of grammar should be consistent and appropriate.

3 out of 5:  The language is mainly clear and accurate despite some lapses.