2021 Paper 1: Sample Response 4 (Infographic)
Sometimes, the difference between twelve and thirteen total points can feel like a lot more than one point! That’s an odd thing to say, as the math is clear. But, as English teachers, we embrace ambiguity and nuance and complexity. This sample response, the fourth exemplar from the May 2021 examination session about an infographic from the UK (found on page 23 of this pdf), does just enough to scrape a three for all criteria.
And yet sample response 3 is only one point better. While this one just barely makes it into each markband, sample response 3 just misses out on reaching the next level because it didn't focus enough on the guiding question.
This happens. In other words, these two exemplars are so close yet so far away in terms of quality. And yet they score very similarly. It’s important to have this conversation with students. It’s hard to get fifteen or more total points on a Paper 1 and students really have to work hard at analyzing and interpreting the text in relation to the guiding question to get that mark or higher.
This exemplar is also great for helping students find and fix errors in grammar and expression. Students love to point out the mistakes of others and this offers them an opportunity to see where this student went wrong. Hopefully, this will allow them to reflect on their own shortcomings, but we know that doesn’t always happen.
Sample Guided Textual Analysis
2021 Paper 1 Sample Response 4 (Infographic)
Guiding question: Comment on how the interplay of text and images is used to appeal to multiple audiences
Paper 1 Sample Response 4 (Infographic)
This infographic written in the UK summarizing government medical advice for new-born children to five year olds. This infographics purpose is to bring attention to the importance of high levels of activity for young children. Targeting the main audience of parents with young children but also appealing to other audiences like the children themselves. Its goal to encourage a more active life-style for kids at a young age. Through the combination of visual and text-based factors this infographic is able to achieve its purpose of spreading information while being able to appeal to multiple audiences.
At the top of the Infographic the author uses a very assertive statement to attract the reader. The statement “Active children are healthy, happy school ready and sleep better” This statement is assertive as it is written as a fact and gives the reader no room to debate with it or think into it. The assertive nature taps into the feelings of a parent as all parents want their kids to be healthy and happy with the statement seemingly providing an answer and guarantee to that parental worrying. Because of this the infographic is successfully appealing to its main audience of parents with young children, making the parents aware and think of their childs daily activity.
A large portion of the infographic is covered with green boxes providing examples of various activities. The author has included this specifically so the infographic appeals to multiple audiences. As not only do they provide ideas to parents for child friendly activities but it also provides appeal to younger kids with its simple images. The simple images accompanies by one word captions appeals to the child audience as they are visual and easy to understand and interpret whilst also providing ideas and encouraging the children to replicate what is in the imagery. So by including these the author has successfully achieved its purpose for the infographic of raising awareness while also successfully appealing to its main audience as well as another young audience.
The infographic also includes a huge bold number with text recommending the amount of active time young children have, it is accompanied by a bright orange clock in the background. This successfully appeals to multiple audiences as the bright bold imagery attracts the attention of both parents and children alike whilst also providing information and guidelines to parents. All this information could have easily been summarised in bullet points in a wall of text but the author has chosen to include the bright bold changes and bold text which brings attention from multiple audiences which is effective in achieving its purpose of spreading information.
At the bottom of the infographic the author has chosen to include a final, simple and snappy message “get strong. More move. Break inactivity.” This bold snappy text reinforces the importance of its message to the parents creating a sense of urgency and encouragement. But it is also simple enough that children on the older end of the audience (4-5 year olds) can recognize and possibly read the words as well, and all kids have a sense of wanting to be the strongest on the playground and the simple statement taps into that therefore also encouraging and appealing to children as well. So it successfully appeals to multiple audience further contributing to achieving its main purpose of encouraging activity in young children, by appealing to multiple audiences.
To conclude, this UK infographic successfully appeals to multiple audiences through the interplay of text and images because its use of urgent, assertive language attracts the attention of parents and the simple imagery with simple captions not only reinforces the message and ideas to parents but attracts the attention of young child audience as well allowing them to understand some of the Infographic. The author could have easily summarised this information in bullet points or a wall of text but they chose to put in the colourful simple imagery as well as text to attract attention from all audiences to be inclusive to all audiences but specifically parents of young children and children. Successfully achieving its main purpose of providing information on the importance of activity for young children whilst also successfully appealing to multiple audiences which helps spread the information more effectively.
Word count: 708
Teacher's Comments
Criterion A: Understanding and interpretation (5 marks)
- To what extent does the student show an understanding of the text? What inferences can the student reasonably make?
- To what extent does the student support their claims with references to the text?
3 out of 5: The candidate has a satisfactory interpretation of some aspects of the text. The interpretation is appropriate with some implications, but more could be done here in relation to the guiding question. It’s too general at times, but enough is done to just reach into this band.
Criterion B: Analysis and evaluation (5 marks)
- How well does the student does the student evaluate the ways in which language and style establish meaning and effect?
3 out of 5: Textual features are mentioned and partially analyzed but further depth is required to define the purpose the author’s choices/textual features. As well, further commentary on the effects of the choices on the audience and greater analysis of the impact/meaning is needed. Similar to criterion A, this just reaches into this band (which is pretty wide).
Criterion C: Focus and organisation (5 marks)
- How effectively does the student structure and present their ideas?
- How balanced and focused is the response?
3 out of 5: The writing uses some connectives and claims at the start of paragraphs with an appropriate/adequate threading of the guiding question. There’s more than “little focus” for example and so again, this band is the best fit for this criterion.
Criterion D: Language (5 marks)
- How clear, varied, and accurate is the student’s language?
- To what extent is the student’s choice of register, style, and terminology appropriate?
3 out of 5: Errors and inconsistencies are apparent (comma splices and fragments). This is noticeable and an issue. It’s almost enough to award a 2 here. But the register and style are mostly appropriate to the task and the language is clear. While borderline, a 3 has been awarded.