Individual Oral Commentary (SL) Shooting an Elephant (2)
The extract for this Individual Oral Commentary (IOC) is from George Orwell’s essay ‘Shooting an Elephant’. For teacher’s who would like to use this exemplar with their students, it is perhaps desirable, and certainly possible, for them to ask students to read the relatively short – and very famous! – essay prior to coming to class. Students should be familiar with the grading criteria, and should normally be asked to grade and discuss the exemplar before they consider the teacher’s comments. This is the second of two oral samples on this essay, and teachers and students may like to compare and contrast this sample with the other.
Sample Extract/Passage
From 'Shooting an Elephant'
George Orwell
Extract
I had got to shoot the elephant. I had committed myself to doing it
when I sent for the rifle. A sahib has got to act like a sahib; he has
got to appear resolute, to know his own mind and do definite
things. To come all that way, rifle in hand, with two thousand
5. people marching at my heels, and then to trail feebly away, having
done nothing – no, that was impossible. The crowd would laugh at
me. And my whole life, every white man’s face in the East, was one
long struggle not to be laughed at.
But I did not want to shoot the elephant. I watched him beating his
10. bunch of grass against his knees, with that preoccupied
grandmotherly air that elephants have. It seemed to me that it
would be murder to shoot him. At that age I was not squeamish
about killing animals, but I had never shot an elephant and never
wanted to. (Somehow it always seems worse to kill a large animal.)
15. Besides, there was the beast’s owner to consider. Alive, the
elephant was worth at least a hundred pounds; dead, he would only
be worth the value of his tusks, five pounds, possibly. But I had got
to act quickly. I turned to some experienced-looking Burmans who
had been there when we arrived, and asked them how the elephant
20. had been behaving. They all said the same thing: he took no notice
of you if you left him alone, but he might charge if you went too
close to him.
It was perfectly clear to me what I ought to do. I ought to walk up
to within, say, twenty-five yards of the elephant and test his
25. behaviour. If he charged, I could shoot; if he took no notice of me, it
would be safe to leave him until the mahout came back. But also I
knew that I was going to do no such thing. I was a poor shot with a
rifle and the ground was soft mud into which one would sink at
every step. If the elephant charged and I missed him, I should have
30. about as much chance as a toad under a steam-roller. But even
then I was not thinking particularly of my own skin, only of the
watchful yellow faces behind. For at that moment, with the crowd
watching me, I was not afraid in the ordinary sense, as I would
have been if I had been alone. A white man mustn’t be frightened in
35. front of the “natives”; and so, in general, he isn’t frightened. The sole
thought in my mind was that if anything went wrong those two
thousand Burmans would see me pursued, caught, trampled on and
reduced to a grinning corpse like the Indian up the hill. And if that
happened it was quite probable that some of them would laugh.
40. That would never do.
Guiding questions
- How does the narrator express anxiety about his task?
- The text extract is written. To what extent, and in what ways, is the language ‘closer to speech’? What is the effect?
Sample Commentary

Teacher's Comments
Students can be given the assessment table (see below) to record their marks and comments.
Criterion A - Knowledge and understanding of the text or extract - 10 marks
The commentary must show knowledge of the text. The student is expected to refer to the text to support his or her statements. Where appropriate the student must place the extract in its context.
6 out of 10 The student shows an adequate knowledge and understanding of the text. The commentary is not particularly well contextualized, and there is a sense that in the commentary as a whole the student is not fully secure in his understanding of the text. Nevertheless, the student chooses to structure his discussion around three key points, each of which is apposite, and show some knowledge and understanding.
Criterion B - Understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features - 10 marks
The commentary shows how the extract uses literary features, such as narrative technique and structure, to convey meaning. The student comments on the effects that these literary features may have on the reader.
7 out of 10There is good awareness and understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features. The student discusses, for example, vocabulary, including verbs and conjunctions, sentence structure, modality, interjections, alliteration, and visual imagery. The student, more or less, comments on the effects of these linguistic and stylistic features. He draws attention to a number of examples in support of his claims. Directing attention to line numbers would be helpful. The teacher then asks a number of questions seeking clarification and seeking to extend the students analysis. The teacher’s second question is a little long and complex. Nevertheless, the student struggles to develop his ideas meaningfully as the commentary concludes.
Criterion C - Organization - 5 marks
The commentary should be well organized and structured. There should be a coherent presentation of ideas.
4 out of 5 The commentary is well organized. The student effectively signposts his commentary, and his transitions are very clear, almost to the extent of being pedantic. The discussion is coherent, and this is established through the use of effective transitional words and phrases.
Criterion D - Language
The student's use of English must be appropriate and accurate. The student is expected to use a level of vocabulary and a set of terminology that are appropriate to the register of a formal commentary.
4 out of 5 The language is clear and appropriate, and there is a good degree of accuracy. The student makes a few errors of terminology, including the mispronunciation of ‘hyperbole’ and confusing ‘chronological’ for ‘chronicle’. Indeed, initially, he refers to the essay as ‘Shooting the Elephant’! However, teachers should provide some latitude for nervousness and appraise the commentary holistically. In this view, the language is mainly accurate, very fluent, and includes some sophistication.