IB Docs (2) Team
Individual Oral Commentary (SL) The Great Gatsby
The following individual oral commentary is based on F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel The Great Gatsby. Students may not be familiar with novel (although perhaps they should be!). Nevertheless, students can read the sample text extract, identifying, to the extent possible, significant aspects of the extract, comparing their own analysis of it with the assessed student’s commentary. Students should also be given the opportunity to become very familiar with the assessment criteria for the Individual Oral Commentary (IOC), and should be fully aware of how they are being assessed. Students should be directed to grade the sample IOC using the grading criteria; whilst they may be unable to grade an IOC with precision, the activity asks students to critically consider the sample student’s performance in light of the grading criteria. Students can discuss their own assessment of the sample response with one another and compare this to the examiner/teacher’s comments (below).
Sample Extract/Passage
From The Great Gatsby
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Extract
He saw me looking with admiration at his car.
"It's pretty, isn't it, old sport?" He jumped off to give me a better
view. "Haven't you ever seen it before?"
I'd seen it. Everybody had seen it. It was a rich cream color, bright with
nickel, swollen here and there in its monstrous length with triumphant
hat-boxes and supper-boxes and tool-boxes, and terraced with a labyrinth
of wind-shields that mirrored a dozen suns. Sitting down behind many
layers of glass in a sort of green leather conservatory, we started to town.
I had talked with him perhaps half a dozen times in the past month and
found, to my disappointment, that he had little to say: So my first impression,
that he was a person of some undefined consequence, had gradually faded
and he had become simply the proprietor of an elaborate road-house next door.
And then came that disconcerting ride. We hadn't reached West Egg village
before Gatsby began leaving his elegant sentences unfinished and slapping
himself indecisively on the knee of his caramel-colored suit.
"Look here, old sport," he broke out surprisingly. "What's your opinion of me,
anyhow?"
A little overwhelmed, I began the generalized evasions which that
question deserves.
"Well, I'm going to tell you something about my life," he interrupted.
"I don't want you to get a wrong idea of me from all these stories you hear."
So he was aware of the bizarre accusations that flavored conversation in his halls.
"I'll tell you God's truth." His right hand suddenly ordered divine retribution to
stand by. "I am the son of some wealthy people in the Middle West - all dead now. I was brought up in America but educated at Oxford, because all my ancestors have been educated there for many years. It is a family tradition."
He looked at me sideways - and I knew why Jordan Baker had believed he was lying. He hurried the phrase "educated at Oxford," or swallowed it, or choked on it, as though it had bothered him before. And with this doubt, his whole statement fell to pieces, and I wondered if there wasn't something a little sinister about him, after all.
"What part of the Middle West?" I inquired casually.
"San Francisco."
"I see."
"My family all died and I came into a good deal of money."
His voice was solemn, as if the memory of that sudden extinction of a clan still
haunted him. For a moment I suspected that he was pulling my leg, but a glance
at him convinced me otherwise.
"After that I lived like a young rajah in all the capitals of Europe--Paris, Venice,
Rome--collecting jewels, chiefly rubies, hunting big game, painting a little, things
for myself only, and trying to forget something very sad that had happened to me
long ago.
Guiding Questions:
· What major thematic concerns are apparent in this extract?
· How is perspective of the narrator revealed in this extract?
Sample Commentary
IOC (SL) Sample: The Great GatsbyTeacher's Comments
Students can be given the assessment table (see below) to record their marks and comments. Only then should they be given the opportunity to compare their own assessment with the teacher/examiner’s assessment. Please note, the last few seconds of this IOC are truncated.
Criterion A - Knowledge and understanding of the text or extract - 10 marks
The commentary must show knowledge of the text. The student is expected to refer to the text to support his or her statements. Where appropriate the student must place the extract in its context.
7 out of 10 The student does well in providing contextual detail to situate, with brevity, the novel in its social and historical context. It becomes increasingly apparent that the student understands the significance of the extract within the novel. However, her introduction to the extract (not the novel generally) could be more fully developed and clearly expressed. Thematic concerns and characterization are both discussed at reasonable length, albeit the student could be more explicit in acknowledging where she is discussing characterization. It would have been useful for the student to discuss further the narrative perspective, and to discuss the character of Nick at greater length. The student makes judicious reference to the text. Whilst personal engagement is not assessed as such, there is a clear sense that the student, at least at times, is drawing personal inferences from her reading.
Criterion B - Understanding of the use and effects of stylistic features - 10 marks
The commentary shows how the extract uses literary features, such as narrative technique and structure, to convey meaning. The student comments on the effects that these literary features may have on the reader.
7 out of 10The student shows a good understanding of the ways in which language establishes meaning and effect. She could be more exhaustive. However, she discusses in a germane way the significance of, for example, symbolism, personification, metaphor, and foreshadowing. Her discussion includes illustrative examples, and she does quite well to discuss the effects of language and style.
Criterion C - Organization - 5 marks
The commentary should be well organized and structured. There should be a coherent presentation of ideas.
4 out of 5 There is a mostly coherent presentation of ideas. The student introduces the extract reasonably effectively. Initial signposting could be improved; that is, the student could more clearly outline the ways in which she will organize her commentary. There is a good endeavour to move between ideas using transitional words and phrases. The commentary is a little repetitive in part.
Criterion D - Language
The student's use of English must be appropriate and accurate. The student is expected to use a level of vocabulary and a set of terminology that are appropriate to the register of a formal commentary.
5 out of 5 The student speaks fluently and accurately. Her speech is well paced, and her vocabulary is varied and mainly appropriate. Whilst one may remark on the occasional colloquialism, such as ‘over-the-top’, such expressions are qualified by more fittingly formal expressions, such as ‘ostentatious’ and ‘exaggerated’.
Overall, this is a mainly successful oral commentary, delivered enthusiastically and with good confidence. The student is awarded 23 marks out of 30 by the teacher/examiner. This is a Standard Level student. In the Language and Literature exam of May 2013, the student would have been awarded a grade of 6 for her IOC.
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